So, I cracked open a 1999 Cab Sauv this evening to share with a girlfriend of mine. She came over for some girl time, and I decided it was a good moment to celebrate making it through the week. It was a tough week- I've taking out some major giants...and I am glad to say that I survived.
And, I've kinda been saving that bottle for something special. Not that I haven't tried to open it in the past...I've actually planned on opening it several times, but never actually did. I think tonight was the best night! Making it through life until this absolute moment is worth celebrating! And being able to share it with a good friend- even better.
I remember getting that bottle:
It was 2002- my Senior year at UNC. I was living alone in an apartment complex in Carrboro, and had invited some people over for a dinner party. This bottle of wine was a gift from one of the guests. We had some different options that night, so this particular bottle never got opened. And has been on different shelves in different houses waiting to be opened....
...until tonight.
MANTRA
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
accountability
Funny enough, the audience is there...listening.
So, I just have to say something.
Why does anyone think I have something to say- isn't that really the funny thing?
Sadly, it is because I've said I do (have something to say)...so maybe that suggests that I am the funny component to this situation.
Hmmm...
So, I just have to say something.
Why does anyone think I have something to say- isn't that really the funny thing?
Sadly, it is because I've said I do (have something to say)...so maybe that suggests that I am the funny component to this situation.
Hmmm...
Monday, November 30, 2009
your fire feeds mine
I just wanted to tell you that the acknowledgment of your fire has since rekindled mine- (And not that mine was dying when we talked of heat and fire. It was a consistent burn; and one that was on the rise- though, I've admitted that your influence has been something like oil added to the flame.)
Your fire- the fact that it exists, the fact that it burns, the fact that I see it, the fact that you share it with me- encourages mine to burn even brighter.
Almost as if there is some unspoken friendly rivalry afoot.
"Well, that was nice; but let's see what I can do!"
"Ha! Top that!"
And we do-
And the light burns brighter.
Your fire- the fact that it exists, the fact that it burns, the fact that I see it, the fact that you share it with me- encourages mine to burn even brighter.
Almost as if there is some unspoken friendly rivalry afoot.
"Well, that was nice; but let's see what I can do!"
"Ha! Top that!"
And we do-
And the light burns brighter.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
maybe we should tell each other more often
I had a friend tell me that he was proud of me-
(Keep in mind, this is someone I really respect. I am impressed with his overall decisions and his impact in his sphere of others. I guess you could say that I look up to him- maybe, I acknowledge him as a mutual force for good in the world? Not sure, what the right details are, but just so you know, it isn't "just anyone" saying that they are proud of me.)
Anyway, I was stunned- in a good way. It isn't every day that someone says that they are proud of you. And maybe that is something that should change...
How does it make you feel when someone says, "I am proud of you!" It makes me feel good; other emotions that flood my being: pleased embarrassment, desire to continue the behavior, sense of accomplishment, determination, validation.
These are emotions that everyone should experience- the more consistent the better. Not so we get numb to the impact of those emotions, but so that we feel the constant reminder of our validation for our impacts in this world.
A couple of things that come to mind:
1. Each one of us should behave in ways that would make the people we respect proud. Whether we hear those words or not (I'm proud of you), let's aspire to achieve those opinions.
2. If you've got a friend who you love and respect; and you see and understand and feel their impact in the world- tell them that you are proud of them! Sure, it may feel a little awkward coming out of your mouth- usually those words are reserved for elders passing that along to the youngers...but it is time we give each other a little credit for the good we are trying to get done.
Just my opinion.
I am glad that someone- a peer- is proud of me.
It makes me feel good!
And I am jazzed to know that I am noticed; and I am gonna keep truckin' along.
(Keep in mind, this is someone I really respect. I am impressed with his overall decisions and his impact in his sphere of others. I guess you could say that I look up to him- maybe, I acknowledge him as a mutual force for good in the world? Not sure, what the right details are, but just so you know, it isn't "just anyone" saying that they are proud of me.)
Anyway, I was stunned- in a good way. It isn't every day that someone says that they are proud of you. And maybe that is something that should change...
How does it make you feel when someone says, "I am proud of you!" It makes me feel good; other emotions that flood my being: pleased embarrassment, desire to continue the behavior, sense of accomplishment, determination, validation.
These are emotions that everyone should experience- the more consistent the better. Not so we get numb to the impact of those emotions, but so that we feel the constant reminder of our validation for our impacts in this world.
A couple of things that come to mind:
1. Each one of us should behave in ways that would make the people we respect proud. Whether we hear those words or not (I'm proud of you), let's aspire to achieve those opinions.
2. If you've got a friend who you love and respect; and you see and understand and feel their impact in the world- tell them that you are proud of them! Sure, it may feel a little awkward coming out of your mouth- usually those words are reserved for elders passing that along to the youngers...but it is time we give each other a little credit for the good we are trying to get done.
Just my opinion.
I am glad that someone- a peer- is proud of me.
It makes me feel good!
And I am jazzed to know that I am noticed; and I am gonna keep truckin' along.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
keep on dreaming
He keeps telling me, "Keep dreaming even if it breaks your heart."
And I just want to know- as I continue to dream and hope and wish for the best; and when my heart breaks over and over again because of failure or rejection or exhaustion- will he be the one to hold me and comfort me as well. Will he take the time to tell me, "It's going to be okay; and you will have the strength to continue the dreaming!"
Just wondering.
Even If It Breaks Your Heart- Will Hoge
And I just want to know- as I continue to dream and hope and wish for the best; and when my heart breaks over and over again because of failure or rejection or exhaustion- will he be the one to hold me and comfort me as well. Will he take the time to tell me, "It's going to be okay; and you will have the strength to continue the dreaming!"
Just wondering.
Even If It Breaks Your Heart- Will Hoge
Saturday, August 29, 2009
160 characters
I've recently updated my wireless phone account to include unlimited texting. I am in love with this feature. Before, when texts were 10 or 20 cents a piece, I was (understandably) fairly stingy with how many I sent and received- and saved such an expense for only certain occasions. Now, I will send/receive a text for any reason. In fact, I have come to prefer this method of communication for quick send/response information. No need to hear someone's voice, when you just want their answer. Short and sweet-
K
: )
Nope
30 min
And I have 160 characters to use- seems like a lot for the mode of communication. Who needs that many spaces to fill with information? Well, I've learned that sometimes there is an art to the text style of communication. Sometimes, there is a lot you want to say. Sometimes, you have to send many texts to get your point across...
But what if you want to send one text- just one. So that it will be explanatory, but poignant? I want to get my heart across, but not let it go on and on (which I am sometimes prone to do). I am learning there is a method of editing. There is a whole system of grammar and spelling that specifically deals with the method of sending texts...
Most of the world already knows this, but since I am coming out of my archaic wireless phone world- it's all been greek to me. And totally against the grain of my English training (okay, okay- I know I can't really claim that on the spelling part; but I do try on a general basis to spell correctly).
So, 160 characters.
Sometimes, it is an ocean of availability.
And sometimes, I am wondering why I even bother to text; I might as well send an email- or make the call.
K
: )
Nope
30 min
And I have 160 characters to use- seems like a lot for the mode of communication. Who needs that many spaces to fill with information? Well, I've learned that sometimes there is an art to the text style of communication. Sometimes, there is a lot you want to say. Sometimes, you have to send many texts to get your point across...
But what if you want to send one text- just one. So that it will be explanatory, but poignant? I want to get my heart across, but not let it go on and on (which I am sometimes prone to do). I am learning there is a method of editing. There is a whole system of grammar and spelling that specifically deals with the method of sending texts...
Most of the world already knows this, but since I am coming out of my archaic wireless phone world- it's all been greek to me. And totally against the grain of my English training (okay, okay- I know I can't really claim that on the spelling part; but I do try on a general basis to spell correctly).
So, 160 characters.
Sometimes, it is an ocean of availability.
And sometimes, I am wondering why I even bother to text; I might as well send an email- or make the call.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
my crush
So, I thought I would go ahead and confess a serious crush-
and it isn't so much a crush now as it is a curious attraction...
I can't tell you the first time I saw the movie, but I do know that I was fairly young; and I do remember that I loved it. Have you seen it: The Labyrinth. I liked it so much that I would ask for it again and again when it was my turn to rent something from the movie store- my mom hated the fact that I loved it so much, and that I ALWAYS wanted to watch it.
You guys are gonna crack up (I can't believe that I am confessing this):
When I was little I had the biggest crush on the Goblin King, played by David Bowie. There was something about him that I liked; and now that I am older, I wonder what it was....could it have been David Bowie's voice (which I've carried preference for ever since), his hair style, his distinct makeup, his oh-so-fashionable costumes?
Now I think my attraction stems from a curious fascination of the character: he has an awe-ful, evil confidence that only seems to be fragmented by the young girl's defiance. Maybe I love:
1. the fact that he isn't omnipotent, that even with all his power, he can't control her
2. that he gives her the choice at the end
3. that she has the ability to make him feel vulnerable by just being who she is, and I like seeing a powerful man deal with his vulnerability
Hmmm...
I can tell you my favorite part of the movie- it remains a constant, no matter how old I am: the ball. And maybe that's the romantic in me, the girly-girl who can't help but fall all over a big party and a great dance. I love everything about the ball (well, except the end):
1. the costumes: I think Sarah is absolutely beautiful. I remember wanting to look just like her when I grew up and got married.
2. the decorations
3. the colors
4. the music: that remains one of my favorite songs to this day; a sense of the romantic washes over me and I feel like I am caught in the trance as well, and all I need is someone to dance with me
5. the way he eludes her, the way he watches her as she looks for him
6. their dance
7. and definitely the way she looks at him while they dance (and the way he looks at her): I have always wanted to be Sarah at that moment, and get my chance to dance with the Goblin King
(sigh)
Now that I've shared this deep-dark secret, I am going to leave you with the lyrics:
"As the World Falls Down" - David Bowie
As such a sad love
Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed within your eyes
I'll place the sky within your eyes
There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart
As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But Ill be there for you-oo-oo
As the world falls down
I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you valentine evenings
Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars
As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But Ill be there for you-oo-oo
As the world falls down
Falling
As the world falls down
Makes no sense at all
Makes no sense to fall
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
and it isn't so much a crush now as it is a curious attraction...
I can't tell you the first time I saw the movie, but I do know that I was fairly young; and I do remember that I loved it. Have you seen it: The Labyrinth. I liked it so much that I would ask for it again and again when it was my turn to rent something from the movie store- my mom hated the fact that I loved it so much, and that I ALWAYS wanted to watch it.
You guys are gonna crack up (I can't believe that I am confessing this):
When I was little I had the biggest crush on the Goblin King, played by David Bowie. There was something about him that I liked; and now that I am older, I wonder what it was....could it have been David Bowie's voice (which I've carried preference for ever since), his hair style, his distinct makeup, his oh-so-fashionable costumes?
Now I think my attraction stems from a curious fascination of the character: he has an awe-ful, evil confidence that only seems to be fragmented by the young girl's defiance. Maybe I love:
1. the fact that he isn't omnipotent, that even with all his power, he can't control her
2. that he gives her the choice at the end
3. that she has the ability to make him feel vulnerable by just being who she is, and I like seeing a powerful man deal with his vulnerability
Hmmm...
I can tell you my favorite part of the movie- it remains a constant, no matter how old I am: the ball. And maybe that's the romantic in me, the girly-girl who can't help but fall all over a big party and a great dance. I love everything about the ball (well, except the end):
1. the costumes: I think Sarah is absolutely beautiful. I remember wanting to look just like her when I grew up and got married.
2. the decorations
3. the colors
4. the music: that remains one of my favorite songs to this day; a sense of the romantic washes over me and I feel like I am caught in the trance as well, and all I need is someone to dance with me
5. the way he eludes her, the way he watches her as she looks for him
6. their dance
7. and definitely the way she looks at him while they dance (and the way he looks at her): I have always wanted to be Sarah at that moment, and get my chance to dance with the Goblin King
(sigh)
Now that I've shared this deep-dark secret, I am going to leave you with the lyrics:
"As the World Falls Down" - David Bowie
As such a sad love
Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed within your eyes
I'll place the sky within your eyes
There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart
As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But Ill be there for you-oo-oo
As the world falls down
I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you valentine evenings
Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars
As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But Ill be there for you-oo-oo
As the world falls down
Falling
As the world falls down
Makes no sense at all
Makes no sense to fall
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)