The thing is, he saw you do it first.
My dear, impressionable 7
year old son, who is living with moderate autism, who thinks so highly
of you...even if you don't acknowledge it, or appreciate it.
You thought he wasn't paying attention - engrossed in his iDevice,
watching gaming videos - when you tenderly lifted my hand to your lips,
palm first so that you could kiss the consequence of my clumsiness. But
he saw you; and he absorbed your tender gesture.
I couldn't believe it. You're my ex-boyfriend. You aren't suppose to be
so loving. It's like we're still living in a mixed up land, where we
aren't together, but still long to be.
But it seems that love exists in any land...mixed up or not.
And love, no matter how it is defined - or not - is still able to procreate kindness.
The next day, my son and I went to high five each other. And as we
smacked hands, I saw his expression change. There was deep concern that
furrowed his darling brow. He grabbed my hand, looked at it, looked at
me and bent his little head so that he could kiss my boo-boo and make it
all better.
Just as he had seen you do it.
With such a marked tenderness.
You don't want to be with me, because you don't want to be with "us," -
you don't want to be a father. But you're already affecting him more
than you know.
He'll remember this - and he will be a more tender man, a more tender
lover, husband - and hopefully - father, because of this moment when you
chose to love me.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Under (More) Pressure
In an interesting turn of events, I moved in with my ex-husband at
the beginning of the 2012 year - almost just in time to celebrate our
first full year of being divorced.
My decision to move back into the house that we shared while married was multi-layered - like an onion (a big, fat smelly one). But the 2 main factors were...a. I had no rent money (since I had just recently left my job to start publishing) and b. he never completed the mortgage edit - taking my name off the property - and couldn't move forward with an appraisal since the house was in disrepair.
Our agreement was that I would provide property management (negotiating with the HOA, cleaning, managing service providers, more cleaning, calling in all kinds of favors from friends for home improvement supplies, did I mention the cleaning?!) and in return, I would be able to live at the house for free while I pursued whatever opportunities opened for me through jab's plethora. The agreement would exist until the house was appraised, the refinance paperwork completed and my name removed from the property. And we'd figure out how to deal with the awkward part of living together again a day at a time.
And even though the agreement was cut and dry - real life has a way of creating more hoops to jump through, more pop quizzes than you've studied for, more opportunities to feel like the awkward adolescent standing in front of the class red-cheeked with embarrassment.
To put it nicely, it has been a rich experience - and has hopefully, made me a better and stronger person.
---
But now, I am just ready to move on.
I am happy to report that the agreement is coming to its fulfillment. The house has been cleaned, the HOA placated, my friends and connections thanked and thanked again. The paperwork process was initiated, the appraisal scheduled and final details submitted to the bank for processing.
Things have been moving along. Not near fast enough to please my taste, but at least there has been forward momentum.
This week, though, has been a doozie.
I was informed by one of my closest friends that she and my ex have started a connection that they plan to pursue. And though she doesn't yet want to be called his girlfriend (by god, it's too early for that) they have kissed and she does plan to come over for romantic visits (last night, her car was still in front of the house at 4am). And she really wants our friendship to remain the same...
[Can you blame me for sleeping poorly; for rolling over at some point and checking out the window and at seeing her car, checking my phone for the time? If you want to, that's fine. Live as I have for the last 8 months and maybe you'll start acting a little crazy too.]
My ex topped that tidbit with the fact that the refi appears "dead in the water;" or at least, that's what the Banker told him. He needs me to submit my divorce paperwork, because what he's already submitted didn't fulfill the requirements of the paperwork process. And he needs to find an extra $1,400 to order to complete the process - and isn't sure where that money is going to come from.
Is it any wonder that I may have indulged at the local Martini Bar on Friday night while updating my mom on all the particulars?
To be honest with you, as ready as I am to depart this household, I don't have a place to land yet. My company and my professional engagements have grown - but not quite enough just yet. Those are ends I am desperately trying to match up as quickly as possible...understanding that ultimately the journey is not in my control.
All I can do is act in a way that I can be proud of...so that when this nightmare is over, I'm not haunted by actions that were mean and childish. My record isn't spotless, but I'm doing the best I can to make sure that it stays as clean as possible.
My decision to move back into the house that we shared while married was multi-layered - like an onion (a big, fat smelly one). But the 2 main factors were...a. I had no rent money (since I had just recently left my job to start publishing) and b. he never completed the mortgage edit - taking my name off the property - and couldn't move forward with an appraisal since the house was in disrepair.
Our agreement was that I would provide property management (negotiating with the HOA, cleaning, managing service providers, more cleaning, calling in all kinds of favors from friends for home improvement supplies, did I mention the cleaning?!) and in return, I would be able to live at the house for free while I pursued whatever opportunities opened for me through jab's plethora. The agreement would exist until the house was appraised, the refinance paperwork completed and my name removed from the property. And we'd figure out how to deal with the awkward part of living together again a day at a time.
And even though the agreement was cut and dry - real life has a way of creating more hoops to jump through, more pop quizzes than you've studied for, more opportunities to feel like the awkward adolescent standing in front of the class red-cheeked with embarrassment.
To put it nicely, it has been a rich experience - and has hopefully, made me a better and stronger person.
---
But now, I am just ready to move on.
I am happy to report that the agreement is coming to its fulfillment. The house has been cleaned, the HOA placated, my friends and connections thanked and thanked again. The paperwork process was initiated, the appraisal scheduled and final details submitted to the bank for processing.
Things have been moving along. Not near fast enough to please my taste, but at least there has been forward momentum.
This week, though, has been a doozie.
I was informed by one of my closest friends that she and my ex have started a connection that they plan to pursue. And though she doesn't yet want to be called his girlfriend (by god, it's too early for that) they have kissed and she does plan to come over for romantic visits (last night, her car was still in front of the house at 4am). And she really wants our friendship to remain the same...
[Can you blame me for sleeping poorly; for rolling over at some point and checking out the window and at seeing her car, checking my phone for the time? If you want to, that's fine. Live as I have for the last 8 months and maybe you'll start acting a little crazy too.]
My ex topped that tidbit with the fact that the refi appears "dead in the water;" or at least, that's what the Banker told him. He needs me to submit my divorce paperwork, because what he's already submitted didn't fulfill the requirements of the paperwork process. And he needs to find an extra $1,400 to order to complete the process - and isn't sure where that money is going to come from.
Is it any wonder that I may have indulged at the local Martini Bar on Friday night while updating my mom on all the particulars?
To be honest with you, as ready as I am to depart this household, I don't have a place to land yet. My company and my professional engagements have grown - but not quite enough just yet. Those are ends I am desperately trying to match up as quickly as possible...understanding that ultimately the journey is not in my control.
All I can do is act in a way that I can be proud of...so that when this nightmare is over, I'm not haunted by actions that were mean and childish. My record isn't spotless, but I'm doing the best I can to make sure that it stays as clean as possible.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Happy from Afar
So, I think it's a very good thing that I am in the midst of 2012 Apple Adventures.
There's nothing like taking out your stress on a bag of apples that
need to be peeled and chopped. It's a methodical process that provides a
lot of firm sensory feedback, almost soothing to a soul that's raging
on the tumultuous waters of life.
And I am not ashamed to admit that I am the soul that needs soothing.
Today, one of my dearest friends took me out to lunch to confess that she's decided to pursue a relationship with my ex-huband. She doesn't want to be called his girlfriend (it's too soon for that) - but they have already kissed, so they intend to see where this may lead.
Did I mention that I am currently living with my ex?
Have you been following the sordid tales of my adventures this year in working with him to get a property we share ready for an appraisal? If you haven't, you're missing out - I am not going to lie. It's a great story!
And so, it's not that I begrudge their happiness.
Love happens; and attraction doesn't follow the rules. I operate a Love Letters community - I of all people know how spontaneous and imaginative the feelings of love are, and can be. So, on those terms, we're good.
I told her that it wasn't going to ruin our friendship, but that the parameters of our friendship would indeed change - there's no way to ignore or deny that fate. I also told her that she may be exactly what he needs - and that they may be very good for each other; different temperaments, like bodies, fit together differently - and some better than others.
I just don't want to tell her I told her so...when she comes to me frustrated about his behavior or about how our friendship has changed...
So, I am hoping for the best - for all of us: that they will be happy together - and that I will be able to survey their happiness from a different vantage point - not from the room down the hall.
And I am not ashamed to admit that I am the soul that needs soothing.
Today, one of my dearest friends took me out to lunch to confess that she's decided to pursue a relationship with my ex-huband. She doesn't want to be called his girlfriend (it's too soon for that) - but they have already kissed, so they intend to see where this may lead.
Did I mention that I am currently living with my ex?
Have you been following the sordid tales of my adventures this year in working with him to get a property we share ready for an appraisal? If you haven't, you're missing out - I am not going to lie. It's a great story!
And so, it's not that I begrudge their happiness.
Love happens; and attraction doesn't follow the rules. I operate a Love Letters community - I of all people know how spontaneous and imaginative the feelings of love are, and can be. So, on those terms, we're good.
I told her that it wasn't going to ruin our friendship, but that the parameters of our friendship would indeed change - there's no way to ignore or deny that fate. I also told her that she may be exactly what he needs - and that they may be very good for each other; different temperaments, like bodies, fit together differently - and some better than others.
I just don't want to tell her I told her so...when she comes to me frustrated about his behavior or about how our friendship has changed...
So, I am hoping for the best - for all of us: that they will be happy together - and that I will be able to survey their happiness from a different vantage point - not from the room down the hall.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
stuffed with kisses
We were indulging in a little before-sleepy-time-snuggle, me and the kid. Hunkered under the quilt and listing to the high powered fan cut through the quiet night.
I kissed the tip of my finger and dramatically space-shipped it up-and-over to his face. I made sure that it landed on the tip of his nose.
He giggled.
"Aw, man. I'm stuffed," he expressed delightedly.
"Wait. What?" I answered. "You're stuffed with kisses?"
"Yep," his answer was thick with amusement. "I'm not hungry anymore, because I'm stuffed!" He said it dramatically, with lots of emphasis on the word "stuffed."
"So, no more kisses?" I was checking. This momma wants to get in all the kisses I can, while I still can.
"No. I'm stuffed."
He used it perfectly - just as any of us would have after Thanksgiving dinner. And two thoughts immediately hit me...
One
I am so proud of how he's developed and progressed this past year in his ability to express himself. The kid has HFA (High Functioning Autism) and has experienced delays in many areas of development - speech being one of the major ones. We've worked hard, first with different Early Intervention Strategies and then with consistent Speech Therapy, in both a school and clinical setting.
The fact that he's internalized this idiom and is able to express it, thrills my heart. Sure, the usage is a little nontraditional but if you were a part of our family, you'd know that we feast regularly on a diet of big, fat, juicy kisses.
Two
I am so proud to have established a home environment where my kid can say - delightedly - that he's stuffed with kisses. It's been a goal to make sure that love is expressed in our household. It doesn't meant that we're happy-go-lucky all the time; but it does mean that we take every single opportunity to express affection and sincere love.
It'll change soon. Before I know it, kisses will go out of vogue. I'll have to transition to something a little more manly, like fist bumps. But, it'll be a love-expression all the same!
I kissed the tip of my finger and dramatically space-shipped it up-and-over to his face. I made sure that it landed on the tip of his nose.
He giggled.
"Aw, man. I'm stuffed," he expressed delightedly.
"Wait. What?" I answered. "You're stuffed with kisses?"
"Yep," his answer was thick with amusement. "I'm not hungry anymore, because I'm stuffed!" He said it dramatically, with lots of emphasis on the word "stuffed."
"So, no more kisses?" I was checking. This momma wants to get in all the kisses I can, while I still can.
"No. I'm stuffed."
He used it perfectly - just as any of us would have after Thanksgiving dinner. And two thoughts immediately hit me...
One
I am so proud of how he's developed and progressed this past year in his ability to express himself. The kid has HFA (High Functioning Autism) and has experienced delays in many areas of development - speech being one of the major ones. We've worked hard, first with different Early Intervention Strategies and then with consistent Speech Therapy, in both a school and clinical setting.
The fact that he's internalized this idiom and is able to express it, thrills my heart. Sure, the usage is a little nontraditional but if you were a part of our family, you'd know that we feast regularly on a diet of big, fat, juicy kisses.
Two
I am so proud to have established a home environment where my kid can say - delightedly - that he's stuffed with kisses. It's been a goal to make sure that love is expressed in our household. It doesn't meant that we're happy-go-lucky all the time; but it does mean that we take every single opportunity to express affection and sincere love.
It'll change soon. Before I know it, kisses will go out of vogue. I'll have to transition to something a little more manly, like fist bumps. But, it'll be a love-expression all the same!
a frog story
It's a small story. One that I won't take too long to tell.
(Oh, my. I heard that sigh of relief. Am I really that long winded?)
I pulled up into the driveway this evening, mind filled with tasks to get ready for the yard sale I have scheduled way too early in the morning. And as I pulled up, I noticed a blot on my white garage door. At first I thought it was a leaf - we did have some righteous storms this afternoon and evening.
But the closer I got to the garage, the more I noticed its shape. A frog.
A sign of good luck - as far as I'm concerned. Of vitality...of peace...
Of course, this could be because of Peace Frogs.
I also had a frog volleyball tee in high school when I was playing on the varsity team.
Whatever the reason, frogs give me a good feeling.
Hope mixed with determination and a bit of the organic spice that flavors life.
(You can call me weirdo - that's okay. I get it a lot.)
I kept the lights on and got out of my car to take a closer look - and to snap a pic. He had his head angled just so, as if he were posing for the shot.
"Hey, buddy. That was a good shot. But I am going to come closer for another one. Stay put. I'd rather you not jump off while I am trying to get closer."
He didn't move. And I got a great shot.
"Thanks, man. That one was even better."
Then I realized we had a problem.
"Hey, man. I'm gonna need you to move. I've got to get in and start getting the signs ready for tomorrow's sale. I'd rather not have to lift the door with you still attached. Um, I'm pretty sure that you don't want me to either. So, if you could go ahead and make plans to be somewhere else, I'd appreciate that."
He lifted his head and turned it just a bit.
I'm not sure if it was an action of rebellion: "Who are you to tell me what to do, woman?!"
It might have been an action of acquiescence: "Of course. I understand and will act while you're away."
Either way, I didn't push the issue.
I left him to deal with things inside the house. I'll be back out soon enough and will deal with the situation then.
I really hope he hops away.
(Oh, my. I heard that sigh of relief. Am I really that long winded?)
I pulled up into the driveway this evening, mind filled with tasks to get ready for the yard sale I have scheduled way too early in the morning. And as I pulled up, I noticed a blot on my white garage door. At first I thought it was a leaf - we did have some righteous storms this afternoon and evening.
But the closer I got to the garage, the more I noticed its shape. A frog.
A sign of good luck - as far as I'm concerned. Of vitality...of peace...
Of course, this could be because of Peace Frogs.
I also had a frog volleyball tee in high school when I was playing on the varsity team.
Whatever the reason, frogs give me a good feeling.
Hope mixed with determination and a bit of the organic spice that flavors life.
(You can call me weirdo - that's okay. I get it a lot.)
I kept the lights on and got out of my car to take a closer look - and to snap a pic. He had his head angled just so, as if he were posing for the shot.
"Hey, buddy. That was a good shot. But I am going to come closer for another one. Stay put. I'd rather you not jump off while I am trying to get closer."
He didn't move. And I got a great shot.
"Thanks, man. That one was even better."
Then I realized we had a problem.
"Hey, man. I'm gonna need you to move. I've got to get in and start getting the signs ready for tomorrow's sale. I'd rather not have to lift the door with you still attached. Um, I'm pretty sure that you don't want me to either. So, if you could go ahead and make plans to be somewhere else, I'd appreciate that."
He lifted his head and turned it just a bit.
I'm not sure if it was an action of rebellion: "Who are you to tell me what to do, woman?!"
It might have been an action of acquiescence: "Of course. I understand and will act while you're away."
Either way, I didn't push the issue.
I left him to deal with things inside the house. I'll be back out soon enough and will deal with the situation then.
I really hope he hops away.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
thoughts on single motherhood
I spent the better part
of my day sitting with a friend in the Clinic, first at her doc's
appointment and then at her Pre-Op appointment. These were both in
preparation for her surgery that's scheduled this coming Friday.
I don't see this friend often, but she is extremely dear to my heart. She's been there for me through my crazy growth and development, and has given me a sounding board to think through decisions of life and love. I really appreciate her patience as we worked together to sift through my insanity to find nuggets of truth in order to move forward with a better sense of self-determination and awareness.
She's been struggling with Endometriosis for approximately 10 years, but in the last 3 months or so, managing its symptoms has been almost impossible. Hence the surgery on Friday. It's the next step to finding out answers on how she can move forward with the life she wants to live.
She wants children.
This condition will not make it easy for her.
She's been waiting for Mr. Right.
Her heart longs for the romance, the wedding, the marriage, the new family, the happy household...
But time is ticking...
Her window to produce a healthy child and carry it to term is closing...even faster now with the ever-worsening developments of her condition in the last few months.
After we made it through the appointments (she had me sit-in with her on both of them for moral support), we talked through the last 6 to 8 months of life, which was a bit fuzzy for the both of us since we hadn't done a very good job keeping in touch. It was good to catch up. I've missed her.
I could also tell the conversation was precursory; there was something more pressing on her mind.
"What's it like being a single mom?"
I knew this was coming. She had already mentioned it a couple of times: how waiting for the right guy to share a family with didn't seem like a viable option anymore, how at least she could move forward with an important piece of that dream - if she did it now - and start a family of her own.
I didn't blame her for thinking that way. Not under her circumstances, for sure. But I really wouldn't wish single motherhood on anyone, especially my friends. Mothering is hard in a committed relationship where you have backup, never mind when you're alone.
I told her that if she was really, truly thinking about it that she needed to explore mommy-baby support groups within her local community.
I told her:
This isn't something you can (or should) do completely alone. You're going to need to have other people in your life to share the highs and lows with. And believe you me, you've no idea what highs and lows will come with motherhood until you are one. If you think you've seen dark days, just wait until you have a kid. You don't understand the meaning of dark until you're stretched beyond logic and reason to be bigger, a more selfless person than ever. But you've also never seen the sun, not until you've looked into your kid's face.
I want her to have a support group, even if that means she moves back to her home place to be close to her parents. I told her there was no point in being too worried about job loyalty when having a kid was going to challenge all loyalties within her heart for further examination.
Having kids makes you reevaluate everything.
And some things stay the same, but oh-so-many more things change.
Including yourself.
It helps to have someone outside of yourself be a witness to the change, a sounding board for the growing pains, a shoulder to cry on...
I don't doubt for an instant that she's strong enough to go it alone.
But, even strong people need support from time to time.
I don't see this friend often, but she is extremely dear to my heart. She's been there for me through my crazy growth and development, and has given me a sounding board to think through decisions of life and love. I really appreciate her patience as we worked together to sift through my insanity to find nuggets of truth in order to move forward with a better sense of self-determination and awareness.
She's been struggling with Endometriosis for approximately 10 years, but in the last 3 months or so, managing its symptoms has been almost impossible. Hence the surgery on Friday. It's the next step to finding out answers on how she can move forward with the life she wants to live.
She wants children.
This condition will not make it easy for her.
She's been waiting for Mr. Right.
Her heart longs for the romance, the wedding, the marriage, the new family, the happy household...
But time is ticking...
Her window to produce a healthy child and carry it to term is closing...even faster now with the ever-worsening developments of her condition in the last few months.
After we made it through the appointments (she had me sit-in with her on both of them for moral support), we talked through the last 6 to 8 months of life, which was a bit fuzzy for the both of us since we hadn't done a very good job keeping in touch. It was good to catch up. I've missed her.
I could also tell the conversation was precursory; there was something more pressing on her mind.
"What's it like being a single mom?"
I knew this was coming. She had already mentioned it a couple of times: how waiting for the right guy to share a family with didn't seem like a viable option anymore, how at least she could move forward with an important piece of that dream - if she did it now - and start a family of her own.
I didn't blame her for thinking that way. Not under her circumstances, for sure. But I really wouldn't wish single motherhood on anyone, especially my friends. Mothering is hard in a committed relationship where you have backup, never mind when you're alone.
I told her that if she was really, truly thinking about it that she needed to explore mommy-baby support groups within her local community.
I told her:
This isn't something you can (or should) do completely alone. You're going to need to have other people in your life to share the highs and lows with. And believe you me, you've no idea what highs and lows will come with motherhood until you are one. If you think you've seen dark days, just wait until you have a kid. You don't understand the meaning of dark until you're stretched beyond logic and reason to be bigger, a more selfless person than ever. But you've also never seen the sun, not until you've looked into your kid's face.
I want her to have a support group, even if that means she moves back to her home place to be close to her parents. I told her there was no point in being too worried about job loyalty when having a kid was going to challenge all loyalties within her heart for further examination.
Having kids makes you reevaluate everything.
And some things stay the same, but oh-so-many more things change.
Including yourself.
It helps to have someone outside of yourself be a witness to the change, a sounding board for the growing pains, a shoulder to cry on...
I don't doubt for an instant that she's strong enough to go it alone.
But, even strong people need support from time to time.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
What's up with you, Jenny?! (Part 4)
There's been a lot going on...
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 4 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part Four)
...and the writing continues...
re: Love Letters
No, I don't plan on writing only Love Letters for the rest of my life. I mean, more than likely I will because that's kinda my thing, but I've got a list of 15+ other titles that I'd like to write as well.
I've got plans for a Love Letters, Volume 3 to be completed towards the end of summer, but don't hold me to that. I am not sure what the next few months hold, and it may be more towards fall or Christmas before Vol 3 is completed and ready for purchase.
re: Next Series
The next book on the publishing-horizon will be book 1 of a new series called From Within (after this blog, which is after my initial idea back-way-on-back from my college days). The book will be titled, Black Magic Woman...and it's been sitting on my coffee table for about five weeks now. All the content is written, it just needs to go through a thorough initial editing so that I can pass it to my Content Editors.
The content is rougher around the edges than what readers will be used to in Love Letters. It's an accumulation of my Id's play space - very raw and blunt observations on life as it pertains to heritage and passion.
I've got three books slated for the From Within series. Like I've already stated, book 1 has all of its content. Book 2 and book 3 have about 1/2 of their content complete.
re: Blogs
I've got a handful of blogs: From Within (personal commentary), my OK place (traveling), the dark side (personal commentary protected behind a Content Warning) and yummy-goodness (food and cooking) - all of which I plan to continue. At the moment they are hosted on Blogger, but I do intend to continue them on my own domain (jab's plethora). Love Letters is also on Blogger and it will probably remain there for the time being.
Things have been supremely quite on the blogs for the last 3 months, but that was due to completing and publishing the books. (I may want to do it all, but I am learning that there is only so much that I can do at once...until they can provide me with aged clones, that is).
I've started a new blog on WordPress called Living with the Ex. You can find it at livingwiththeex.wordpress.com -- it seems that an unconventional opportunity to for me to move in with my ex-husband has made itself available...and I'm taking it. If you're interested in the how and why of it, I encourage you to read the blog.
re: Other Books
Like I said, I have 15+ titles that are nagging at me to get them written. There will be other works published in the future, whether I am able to eventually support myself on this pipe dream, whether a big-momma publisher picks me up, or whether I am working for someone else and writing on the side. The third option is my least favorite, for obvious reasons, but the writing just isn't going to stop.
I'm crazy for it, and you might as well commit me now.
------
Part 5 is coming soon...
...we'll discuss personal life events and changes...
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 4 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part Four)
...and the writing continues...
re: Love Letters
No, I don't plan on writing only Love Letters for the rest of my life. I mean, more than likely I will because that's kinda my thing, but I've got a list of 15+ other titles that I'd like to write as well.
I've got plans for a Love Letters, Volume 3 to be completed towards the end of summer, but don't hold me to that. I am not sure what the next few months hold, and it may be more towards fall or Christmas before Vol 3 is completed and ready for purchase.
re: Next Series
The next book on the publishing-horizon will be book 1 of a new series called From Within (after this blog, which is after my initial idea back-way-on-back from my college days). The book will be titled, Black Magic Woman...and it's been sitting on my coffee table for about five weeks now. All the content is written, it just needs to go through a thorough initial editing so that I can pass it to my Content Editors.
The content is rougher around the edges than what readers will be used to in Love Letters. It's an accumulation of my Id's play space - very raw and blunt observations on life as it pertains to heritage and passion.
I've got three books slated for the From Within series. Like I've already stated, book 1 has all of its content. Book 2 and book 3 have about 1/2 of their content complete.
re: Blogs
I've got a handful of blogs: From Within (personal commentary), my OK place (traveling), the dark side (personal commentary protected behind a Content Warning) and yummy-goodness (food and cooking) - all of which I plan to continue. At the moment they are hosted on Blogger, but I do intend to continue them on my own domain (jab's plethora). Love Letters is also on Blogger and it will probably remain there for the time being.
Things have been supremely quite on the blogs for the last 3 months, but that was due to completing and publishing the books. (I may want to do it all, but I am learning that there is only so much that I can do at once...until they can provide me with aged clones, that is).
I've started a new blog on WordPress called Living with the Ex. You can find it at livingwiththeex.wordpress.com -- it seems that an unconventional opportunity to for me to move in with my ex-husband has made itself available...and I'm taking it. If you're interested in the how and why of it, I encourage you to read the blog.
re: Other Books
Like I said, I have 15+ titles that are nagging at me to get them written. There will be other works published in the future, whether I am able to eventually support myself on this pipe dream, whether a big-momma publisher picks me up, or whether I am working for someone else and writing on the side. The third option is my least favorite, for obvious reasons, but the writing just isn't going to stop.
I'm crazy for it, and you might as well commit me now.
------
Part 5 is coming soon...
...we'll discuss personal life events and changes...
What's Up with you, Jenny?! (Part 3)
There's been a lot going on...
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 3 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part Three)
On Christmas Eve, I was spending time with friends who have become family, sharing a meal and catching up on the details of life. It was my turn to talk, so I dished about my little company's growth and how I wanted to move forward...
...at some point, I'd really like to be in a position to give back to the community. I just don't know how yet, but I'm sure something will come to light.
My friend, the hostess, starting grinning and her eyes got sparkly.
(A bit of background information: she's a teacher at one of our local private schools.)
You know...we're in need of some professionals to come in and teach elective classes for the Spring Term. We don't have many options open for this kids this time around. Would you be willing to teach a writing class of sorts?
If life was like the movies, angels would have appeared and starting singing the Hallelujah chorus.
I knew immediately that I really wanted to do this, and started dusting off my teacher-skills (I was an 8th grade Language Arts teacher in 2002) so that I could put together a rough-draft syllabus. I've been spending time since that meeting trying to organize what I've learned in the last 3 months into a class outline appropriate for middle school aged students.
I received an initial approval from my friend and the teacher who heads up the Middle School. On January 13th, I presented the idea to the students and tried to make it sound as appealing as possible. Being published as a 6th, 7th or 8th grader will make just about anyone's eyes grow wide and dreamy, so I threw in a little reality check as well: I mentioned that if they didn't like to write, there was really no reason to sign up.
I mean for goodness sake, I really like to write and there are some days when I want to throw my hands up move on to something else.
Here's a rough draft of the project. Enjoy!
Write My Life is a course where students will be taught the process of self publishing. The syllabus includes an intense outline of objectives, each one stair-stepping towards the end goal: a published book.
Here's a basic outline on what you can expect:
1. Writing: Students will be using the Love and Appreciation Movement framework provided by jab's Love Letters to write expressive letters in each of the six (6) categories: I love you, I thank you, I miss you, I want you, I'm sorry, and I hope for you. The overall focus will challenge each student to acknowledge the important people in their lives by offering sentiments of love and appreciation.
2. Editing: Students will learn the importance of editing over and over again in order to provide the best possible content for the book. Editing sessions will include: individual editing, peer editing, workshop editing and teacher-to-student editing. Instruction in the differences between Content and Copy editing will be outlined so that the students have a working knowledge of how to incorporate each one in their review of content.
3. Formatting: The class will review the basic parts of a book and make some basic decisions on how the book and content within the book should be formatted. (The publisher will have final discretion in order to provide a high quality end product.)
4. Designing: The class will review the aspects of a successful book cover and incorporate those elements in the objectives list provided to the Designer. (The publisher will have final discretion in collaboration with the contracted Designer, in this case August Knight [http://augustknight.com], in order to provide a high quality end product.)
5. Autobiographies: Each student will be required to submit an brief autobiography that will be included in the book. The syllabus outline will challenge the students to focus on different aspects of self with the objective of inspiring a new awareness of personality and character within each child.
6. Marketing: Basic marketing strategies, including very basic email campaigns and the use of social networks, will be covered in order to raise awareness within the students on the responsibilities of "getting the word out." School-based outlets (website, newsletter, etc...) will be utilized as much as possible in order to raise awareness within the entire school community. (The publisher will also make its marketing platforms available in order to increase the profitability of the project.)
7. Community Awareness: The class will discuss the importance of success for personal gain, but also for the opportunity to "give back" to the community. In this case, students will be urged to use their marketing skills in order to sell the book as much as possible so that a portion of the proceeds can be returned to the school. Students will be challenged to investigate real needs within the school so that the opportunity of giving back is effective to its fullest potential. Proceeds will be collected for a year after publication and presented to the school by as many of the original students who are available to attending the ceremony.
8. Reviews / the Power of Social Marketing: Students will learn first-hand how important positive product reviews are and how to write them. The class will discuss the importance and weight of comments made and posted to social networks and online product pages.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part 4) is coming soon...
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 3 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part Three)
On Christmas Eve, I was spending time with friends who have become family, sharing a meal and catching up on the details of life. It was my turn to talk, so I dished about my little company's growth and how I wanted to move forward...
...at some point, I'd really like to be in a position to give back to the community. I just don't know how yet, but I'm sure something will come to light.
My friend, the hostess, starting grinning and her eyes got sparkly.
(A bit of background information: she's a teacher at one of our local private schools.)
You know...we're in need of some professionals to come in and teach elective classes for the Spring Term. We don't have many options open for this kids this time around. Would you be willing to teach a writing class of sorts?
If life was like the movies, angels would have appeared and starting singing the Hallelujah chorus.
I knew immediately that I really wanted to do this, and started dusting off my teacher-skills (I was an 8th grade Language Arts teacher in 2002) so that I could put together a rough-draft syllabus. I've been spending time since that meeting trying to organize what I've learned in the last 3 months into a class outline appropriate for middle school aged students.
I received an initial approval from my friend and the teacher who heads up the Middle School. On January 13th, I presented the idea to the students and tried to make it sound as appealing as possible. Being published as a 6th, 7th or 8th grader will make just about anyone's eyes grow wide and dreamy, so I threw in a little reality check as well: I mentioned that if they didn't like to write, there was really no reason to sign up.
I mean for goodness sake, I really like to write and there are some days when I want to throw my hands up move on to something else.
Here's a rough draft of the project. Enjoy!
Write My Life is a course where students will be taught the process of self publishing. The syllabus includes an intense outline of objectives, each one stair-stepping towards the end goal: a published book.
Here's a basic outline on what you can expect:
1. Writing: Students will be using the Love and Appreciation Movement framework provided by jab's Love Letters to write expressive letters in each of the six (6) categories: I love you, I thank you, I miss you, I want you, I'm sorry, and I hope for you. The overall focus will challenge each student to acknowledge the important people in their lives by offering sentiments of love and appreciation.
2. Editing: Students will learn the importance of editing over and over again in order to provide the best possible content for the book. Editing sessions will include: individual editing, peer editing, workshop editing and teacher-to-student editing. Instruction in the differences between Content and Copy editing will be outlined so that the students have a working knowledge of how to incorporate each one in their review of content.
3. Formatting: The class will review the basic parts of a book and make some basic decisions on how the book and content within the book should be formatted. (The publisher will have final discretion in order to provide a high quality end product.)
4. Designing: The class will review the aspects of a successful book cover and incorporate those elements in the objectives list provided to the Designer. (The publisher will have final discretion in collaboration with the contracted Designer, in this case August Knight [http://augustknight.com], in order to provide a high quality end product.)
5. Autobiographies: Each student will be required to submit an brief autobiography that will be included in the book. The syllabus outline will challenge the students to focus on different aspects of self with the objective of inspiring a new awareness of personality and character within each child.
6. Marketing: Basic marketing strategies, including very basic email campaigns and the use of social networks, will be covered in order to raise awareness within the students on the responsibilities of "getting the word out." School-based outlets (website, newsletter, etc...) will be utilized as much as possible in order to raise awareness within the entire school community. (The publisher will also make its marketing platforms available in order to increase the profitability of the project.)
7. Community Awareness: The class will discuss the importance of success for personal gain, but also for the opportunity to "give back" to the community. In this case, students will be urged to use their marketing skills in order to sell the book as much as possible so that a portion of the proceeds can be returned to the school. Students will be challenged to investigate real needs within the school so that the opportunity of giving back is effective to its fullest potential. Proceeds will be collected for a year after publication and presented to the school by as many of the original students who are available to attending the ceremony.
8. Reviews / the Power of Social Marketing: Students will learn first-hand how important positive product reviews are and how to write them. The class will discuss the importance and weight of comments made and posted to social networks and online product pages.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part 4) is coming soon...
...I mean, I am not just going to write Love Letters until the end of time...
Saturday, January 14, 2012
What's Up with you, Jenny?! (Part 2)
There's been a lot going on...
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 2 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part Two)
In Part 1 I told you that I now own a company: jab's plethora
The company was set up so that I can self publish from a strong platform. I don't want to take the time to convince major publishers that any of my ideas are good ones (at least not at this point). That takes a lot of time and energy; and I would much rather focus on the list of projects that I'd like to see come to fruition (I've got a bunch of them). So, that's what I'm doing. If big-momma-publisher sees me doing my thing and wants to pick me up, that'd be lovely. But, I'm not going to hold my breath.
I have a lot of content already written that just needs to be edited and formatted into books :D
The first project I decided to tackle was the Love Letters series and at this point I have both Book 1 and Book 2 published and available for purchase.
BY THE WAY -- I have a Facebook page (and would appreciate your "like") and am currently working on the website. I hope to have an initial site ready for launch sometime before the end of this month. (But for other reasons, not yet discussed, that's gonna be a stretch.)
------
BOOK 1 - Love Letters, Volume 1: Moving On, Growing Up
Based on the real-life journey of a woman who wanted to grab every opportunity to express love and appreciation for the people who added value to her life: family, friends, lovers...no one is excluded. This collection of love letters helps us realize that many different people help shape the course of our life; and we should treasure every person, every moment that brings us to this exact spot within our development. Face your love!
The Love Letters collection has inspired the Love and Appreciation movement, encouraging each person to acknowledge the special people in their lives by writing their own love letter. It isn't hard and doesn't require eloquence, only sincerity. Be a part of the online community: jabsloveletters.com
BOOK 2 - Love Letters, Volume 2: Being Adult
The Love and Appreciation Movement, inspired by the Love Letters series, continues forward encompassing a new category: tribulation. Life isn't perfect, neither is love. Our experiences are multi-faceted and perfect only because of their imperfections. Love Letters, Volume 2: Being Adult explores the idea of love with a deeper, more complex analysis. Each letter expresses love - as it is, raging with honesty.
The author continues her journey detailing a commitment to a. love herself and b. love others. She transforms her passion into the kinds of words that grab hearts and inspire change. Her perspective challenges each person to acknowledge the love that resides in their heart; and share it with the understanding that shared-love will ripple outward, like lake water disturbed by a pebble.
Although the books are within the same series and formatted the same way (using categories), they are different beasts.
I like to say that Book 1 is like cotton candy. It's short and sweet...and can be read over your morning cup of coffee. You can read the reviews posted on Amazon to get a better idea of what to expect. After you read the book, I'd love it if you posted your own review on Amazon or emailed it to info@jabsloveletters.com
Book 2 is about 40 pages longer than the first one...and is denser. Instead of cotton candy, it's more like Shepherd's Pie. The writing is more expressive, more emotional. It was published on January 10th, so there aren't any reviews yet on Amazon, but I'd be pleased as punch if you decided to write a review after reading it. You can also send a review to info@loveletters.com -- we'd love to post it on our various social networks.
If you're interested in purchasing an autographed copy of either of the books, I will have them available for purchase on the site (only Book 1 is available at the time of this blog post). If you aren't worried about having an autographed copy and/or would like information on how to find an eBook version of the books - I've got that information available on the website.
***If you have any problems with the website...a link, a form submission, a purchase, etc...please let me know - you can email info@jabsloveletters.com and tell me what's going on. I would appreciate your support in this matter, as I am running in 15 bazillion directions and sometimes smaller details are missed (ack - did I admit that?! sure enough did...)
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part 3) is coming soon...
...and we'll talk about the Write My Life project.
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 2 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part Two)
In Part 1 I told you that I now own a company: jab's plethora
The company was set up so that I can self publish from a strong platform. I don't want to take the time to convince major publishers that any of my ideas are good ones (at least not at this point). That takes a lot of time and energy; and I would much rather focus on the list of projects that I'd like to see come to fruition (I've got a bunch of them). So, that's what I'm doing. If big-momma-publisher sees me doing my thing and wants to pick me up, that'd be lovely. But, I'm not going to hold my breath.
I have a lot of content already written that just needs to be edited and formatted into books :D
The first project I decided to tackle was the Love Letters series and at this point I have both Book 1 and Book 2 published and available for purchase.
BY THE WAY -- I have a Facebook page (and would appreciate your "like") and am currently working on the website. I hope to have an initial site ready for launch sometime before the end of this month. (But for other reasons, not yet discussed, that's gonna be a stretch.)
------
BOOK 1 - Love Letters, Volume 1: Moving On, Growing Up
Based on the real-life journey of a woman who wanted to grab every opportunity to express love and appreciation for the people who added value to her life: family, friends, lovers...no one is excluded. This collection of love letters helps us realize that many different people help shape the course of our life; and we should treasure every person, every moment that brings us to this exact spot within our development. Face your love!
The Love Letters collection has inspired the Love and Appreciation movement, encouraging each person to acknowledge the special people in their lives by writing their own love letter. It isn't hard and doesn't require eloquence, only sincerity. Be a part of the online community: jabsloveletters.com
BOOK 2 - Love Letters, Volume 2: Being Adult
The Love and Appreciation Movement, inspired by the Love Letters series, continues forward encompassing a new category: tribulation. Life isn't perfect, neither is love. Our experiences are multi-faceted and perfect only because of their imperfections. Love Letters, Volume 2: Being Adult explores the idea of love with a deeper, more complex analysis. Each letter expresses love - as it is, raging with honesty.
The author continues her journey detailing a commitment to a. love herself and b. love others. She transforms her passion into the kinds of words that grab hearts and inspire change. Her perspective challenges each person to acknowledge the love that resides in their heart; and share it with the understanding that shared-love will ripple outward, like lake water disturbed by a pebble.
Although the books are within the same series and formatted the same way (using categories), they are different beasts.
I like to say that Book 1 is like cotton candy. It's short and sweet...and can be read over your morning cup of coffee. You can read the reviews posted on Amazon to get a better idea of what to expect. After you read the book, I'd love it if you posted your own review on Amazon or emailed it to info@jabsloveletters.com
Book 2 is about 40 pages longer than the first one...and is denser. Instead of cotton candy, it's more like Shepherd's Pie. The writing is more expressive, more emotional. It was published on January 10th, so there aren't any reviews yet on Amazon, but I'd be pleased as punch if you decided to write a review after reading it. You can also send a review to info@loveletters.com -- we'd love to post it on our various social networks.
If you're interested in purchasing an autographed copy of either of the books, I will have them available for purchase on the site (only Book 1 is available at the time of this blog post). If you aren't worried about having an autographed copy and/or would like information on how to find an eBook version of the books - I've got that information available on the website.
***If you have any problems with the website...a link, a form submission, a purchase, etc...please let me know - you can email info@jabsloveletters.com and tell me what's going on. I would appreciate your support in this matter, as I am running in 15 bazillion directions and sometimes smaller details are missed (ack - did I admit that?! sure enough did...)
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part 3) is coming soon...
...and we'll talk about the Write My Life project.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
What's Up with you, Jenny?! (Part 1)
There's been a lot going on...
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 1 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part One)
I don't work at WebSpark anymore. I left my position as Operations Manager in October 2011 for many reasons. One of the strongest, most compelling, back-me-into-a-corner type reason was that I wanted to pursue my writing career.
And so, that's what I've done.
I am on a path I would have never expected, but here I am...and loving it.
I own my own company: jab's plethora
I have a Facebook page (and would appreciate your "like") and am currently working on the website. I hope to have an initial site ready for launch sometime before the end of this month. (But for other reasons, not yet discussed, that's gonna be a stretch.)
***And let me take a moment to be thankful for my previous position at WebSpark. I was there for 2+ years and learned many, many skills that I am utilizing now.***
The company was set up so that I can self publish from a strong platform. I don't want to take the time to convince major publishers that any of my ideas are good ones (at least not at this point). That takes a lot of time and energy; and I would much rather focus on the list of projects that I'd like to see come to fruition (I've got a bunch of them). So, that's what I'm doing. If big-momma-publisher sees me doing my thing and wants to pick me up, that'd be lovely. But, I'm not going to hold my breath.
The first project I decided to tackle was the Love Letters series. As I invested time into the project, I was inspired to create a website to collect other people's love letters, if they wanted to share them. I've been running the jab's Love Letters website since November and encourage everyone to come and take a look.
I wanted the website to have a solid and professional looking Home Page and I had a few NC local photographers agree to be featured! Check out their work and book their services!
The website offers a simple contact form so that people can send in their letters!
I also thought it would be nice to allow people to post snapshots of love, so we've got a submission form for that as well.
I'd really like people to get comfortable with the idea to send us Love Letter videos so that we can post them to our YouTube Channel, but that's probably going to take a while; or it may be something that I can explore for book signing events. if you're a YouTube junkie, please subscribe to the channel. I would much appreciate it!
If you're interested in purchasing an autographed copy of either of the books, I will have them available for purchase on the site (only Book 1 is available at the time of this blog post). If you aren't worried about having an autographed copy and/or would like information on how to find an eBook version of the books - I've got that information available on the website as well.
***If you have any problems with the website...a link, a form submission, a purchase, etc...please let me know - you can email info@jabsloveletters.com and tell me what's going on. I would appreciate your support in this matter, as I am running in 15 bazillion directions and sometimes smaller details are missed (ack - did I admit that?! sure enough did...)
One of the most important things to know about the jab's Love Letters website is that new love letters (and pictures) are posted EVERY THURSDAY. Visit the site each week to see how people are expressing love and appreciation to each other.
Tell your friends...
Email your favorite news station...
Post a comment on your various social networks...
TALK IT UP!!! Valentine's Day is coming up and it's a perfect shoo-in...
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part 2) is coming soon...
...and we'll discuss a little bit more about the first two books that I've published.
...and I am always surprised by how much people don't know about me.
I'm kind of a social network whore...but, be that as it may, it doesn't mean that anyone else is. So even though I post tons of updates, you may not be getting a whole picture.
This is Part 1 in explaining all the tiny bits that are making up my current big picture.
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part One)
I don't work at WebSpark anymore. I left my position as Operations Manager in October 2011 for many reasons. One of the strongest, most compelling, back-me-into-a-corner type reason was that I wanted to pursue my writing career.
And so, that's what I've done.
I am on a path I would have never expected, but here I am...and loving it.
I own my own company: jab's plethora
I have a Facebook page (and would appreciate your "like") and am currently working on the website. I hope to have an initial site ready for launch sometime before the end of this month. (But for other reasons, not yet discussed, that's gonna be a stretch.)
***And let me take a moment to be thankful for my previous position at WebSpark. I was there for 2+ years and learned many, many skills that I am utilizing now.***
The company was set up so that I can self publish from a strong platform. I don't want to take the time to convince major publishers that any of my ideas are good ones (at least not at this point). That takes a lot of time and energy; and I would much rather focus on the list of projects that I'd like to see come to fruition (I've got a bunch of them). So, that's what I'm doing. If big-momma-publisher sees me doing my thing and wants to pick me up, that'd be lovely. But, I'm not going to hold my breath.
The first project I decided to tackle was the Love Letters series. As I invested time into the project, I was inspired to create a website to collect other people's love letters, if they wanted to share them. I've been running the jab's Love Letters website since November and encourage everyone to come and take a look.
I wanted the website to have a solid and professional looking Home Page and I had a few NC local photographers agree to be featured! Check out their work and book their services!
The website offers a simple contact form so that people can send in their letters!
I also thought it would be nice to allow people to post snapshots of love, so we've got a submission form for that as well.
I'd really like people to get comfortable with the idea to send us Love Letter videos so that we can post them to our YouTube Channel, but that's probably going to take a while; or it may be something that I can explore for book signing events. if you're a YouTube junkie, please subscribe to the channel. I would much appreciate it!
If you're interested in purchasing an autographed copy of either of the books, I will have them available for purchase on the site (only Book 1 is available at the time of this blog post). If you aren't worried about having an autographed copy and/or would like information on how to find an eBook version of the books - I've got that information available on the website as well.
***If you have any problems with the website...a link, a form submission, a purchase, etc...please let me know - you can email info@jabsloveletters.com and tell me what's going on. I would appreciate your support in this matter, as I am running in 15 bazillion directions and sometimes smaller details are missed (ack - did I admit that?! sure enough did...)
One of the most important things to know about the jab's Love Letters website is that new love letters (and pictures) are posted EVERY THURSDAY. Visit the site each week to see how people are expressing love and appreciation to each other.
Tell your friends...
Email your favorite news station...
Post a comment on your various social networks...
TALK IT UP!!! Valentine's Day is coming up and it's a perfect shoo-in...
------
Jenny - The Professional (Part 2) is coming soon...
...and we'll discuss a little bit more about the first two books that I've published.
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