"If I knew all the words, I would write myself out of here." MRAZ

Thursday, September 1, 2011

read the headlines

We fall in love, choose to love, commit to love and get married.

And for many, the assumption is that love will stay the same. Time passes and growth happens; but dang it, this love will always be here, supporting us to carry us through anything that life brings.

But love is based on connection and connection is based on....what?

I think that to a certain extent, connection is ethereal link to someone else. It is hard to explain why we meet certain people on certain planes. Connection, and the associated attraction, is so much deeper than just sexuality; it is a brass tacks kind of understanding between people at a certain level...not necessarily all levels.

People marry. People change.
At least, we hope so, right?

An individual should continue towards growth, continue to learn from the world around them. Their life experiences outside of the marriage connection will effect change in their default character and personality, in their thought processes. It may be dramatic; but it could also be subtle. Either way, the hope is that we are dynamic characters in our own life story.

These changes may affect the "feeling" of love, but hopefully, not the commitment to love.

It occurs to me that change is inevitable, though we gripe and complain...maybe even resist.

It also occurs to me that the best way to foster the marriage connection through the time that passes and ages us is to consistently visit the brass tacks connection with our partner. If you can't be honest and vulnerable with your person about who you are and how you're changing....if you can't trust them enough with your base level humanity, why would you make vows and promise to spend your life with them?

Revisit the brass tacks: talk, share, dust-off the connection.

You can't be on the same page with someone unless you are willing to read the headlines as they appear on the news stand.


And I believe the responsibility to share as well as the act of asking for sharing stands directly on the doorstep of both hearts within the marriage connection. The union of two souls requires give and take on so many levels, this being one of the most important of them all.

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