"If I knew all the words, I would write myself out of here." MRAZ

Friday, July 10, 2009

holding my own

I'm a fairly confident person; and if I am in a situation that overwhelms me, I bluff my way through it. If there's anything that I've had practice in- it's bluffing my way through life; that's a natural consequence of people thinking you are older than you really are, and having a smile that tends to disarm and distract people.

I can also- for the most part- size people up; a consequence of growing up in a single mom home. She wanted to make sure her little girl was aware of the people around her (particularly the men), so that nothing would happen without my being prepared for it. So, at this point, I consider myself a vibe reader. I feel people out, so that I know how to act (or protect myself); and for the most part, I tend to be right. Not all the time, but enough.

And so, I know if I can hold my own with someone or not.
Since I tend to be a force of nature with my emotions, if I am not careful I can easily overwhelm and bombard people- oh, yea, I can hold my own with most.

And then there are a few where our abilities are matched; and it is a give and take. Sometimes they win, and sometimes I win. And we mutually respect each other's presence and effect.

And then there are the select few- I can bluff all I want to; and I may just barely convince them with my disarming charm that I can hold my own with them, but I know that they've got me. I'm just playing along and hoping that I can keep my wits about me, and that I am catching them at a weak moment.

No comments: