MANTRA

"If I knew all the words, I would write myself out of here." MRAZ

Sunday, September 14, 2008

dragon sighting

I saw my dragon.

I say "my" dragon, because that's what he told me he was....mine.

It was late and very dark outside. On my way home, I saw something out of my windshield. It caught my eye....well, wouldn't something that was big and moving quickly...up in the air?! catch your attention too? It was way too low to be a plane or any other aircraft. Hmmm...

Clearly it was too late.
And clearly, I should be in bed.
At least, that's what I thought, as I turned the car into my subdivision.

I enjoyed a deep, relaxing sigh as I turned off the car. Life has changed so much in the last month. I am trying to be cool and roll with the punches; I mean, clearly, God is still in control. That's my mantra during sighs like that one- anyway. I was trying to keep that in mind as I got out of the car and was dealt the craziest hand yet-

I just closed the door and glanced towards the end of the driveway- and he deftly lighted where tarmac meets cement. An ugly thing, if you ask my opinion. And mammoth. He has dark, midnight scales that cover his entire body; though, at times, there is a iridescent violet sheen that glistens when he moves the right way. His eyes are African Turquoise green. Yes, yes- he breathes fire; but only on special occasions- so he tells me. You would know that he breathes fire because of the smell- not sulfur, but charcoal; as if an amazing grill feast is about to happen, but the meat is missing. He doesn't have any horns, but an amazing set of wings and a very, very long tail. So, for the most part, he is very smooth and sleek; but there is definitely something ugly about it- just hard to put your finger on. And those teeth...

He sat and gazed at me intently.
I am not completely unfamiliar with creatures like dragons. I am a serious sci-fi/fantasy fan. But, even a fan like me, has a hard time accepting the hoped for and believed in and dreamed of- come to life and sitting on my property. His gaze wasn't malicious- at least, I didn't think I was on his late night menu; but it was curious, critical, cynical- and in a moment, I felt deflated.

"Hello?"

"Hello."

"Who are you?"

"I am your dragon."

Clearly, not one of many words, I thought; and he certainly wasn't very forthcoming.

"I have a dragon?! You're MY dragon? I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Well, I am your dragon now. And there is certainly no need to apologize; although you my feel like it before our time together is done."

"Why are you here? Not trying to be rude, you see. Looks like you could eat me in one bite. Why are you here now? I am not sure that I quite understand. I thought dragons, no offense, were mythical...fiction."

"No offense taken. I can't promise not to eat you. You look like you would be a tasty lunch. But I am getting off track...I am here because you are finally doing what you love. And you can't expect to have an easy go of it. You can't expect everyone to understand. You can't expect everyone to accept. I am here, and I will be around to remind you of that fact."

"Oh."

"Don't look so somber; or do. Surely you knew what you were getting into? No? Well, here I am. I can see that we'll have to take things slowly; but prepare yourself for the worst. That way the reality will be pleasant in comparison. That is your first lesson. One of the milder ones at that."

"Please, don't be offended by this question....but, is there any way to be rid of you?"

"Stop writing."

"Oh."
This was certainly an interesting development. He was right, though. And I knew it. But I guess I know it in a whole new way, now. But stop writing? When I am finally pursuing it seriously? When I have an amazing support group keeping me accountable and cheering me on? I sighed.

"Would you like to come in?"

"No. I won't be with you all the time. Just sometimes. When things seem to be going exceptionally well, I will turn up to remind you. When you are discouraged, I will pop in to make you feel worse. You will see me in comments that suggest the reader completely missed the boat; you will see me when readers reject your words. Believe me, you won't want me around all the time. You will be sick of me as it is."

And with that he was gone.
My dark friend.
MY dragon.
A very real thing.

1 comment:

lisabuchanan said...

writing...marriage...parenting...careers...self-image...we all have our dragons. i can't wait to hear the sequel....dragon slaying?

xoxo,
lisa